And it was strewn all over the floor

When I got back yesterday, I find a bunch of coins strewn all over the floor like someone had smashed a melon with a mallet and it had shat coins all over the floor in defiance. While I am prone to the occasional fuckup, i wasn’t quite expecting to see my coins all over as I would have surely remembered. Did i forget to clean up? Was it a cat? Perhaps a sudden gust of wind had managed to unseat a good 2 kilograms worth of coins 5 feet across the bedroom. Many things went through my mind, but little made sense. And very slowly like a wave smothering a rather stupid looking bald man shape rock, i realised someone else had been in my room. My primary thoughts at the time weren’t that I had lost anything, but what the thieving bastard must have thought of me as he rifled through my personal belongings? Did he think any less of me because of my drab curtains? Perhaps an Ikea catalogue intentionally tucked away next to the shitter as a non so subtle hint I should consider updating my home furnishing. Either way, i start to panic and to run a roll call. The only few things missing was the stack of coins, a portable drive and my brand new ipad that i got as a gift. Now i really start to panic, as the person who had just judged my poor interior decorating choices was now having a snicker as he perused my browsing history. :Z

I scamper thinking that the faster I move, the more likely I’ll be able to undo the damage. Chucked my shopping into the fridge as fast as I could and surveyed possible entrances hoping to learn a little something about my perpetrator, that maybe if I understand who he is, I won’t be so vulnerable. That or I get kicks playing Nancy Drew. Not learning anything, I speak to the neighbours to find out if they’ve overheard anything. Perhaps someone casually shouting his own name and the fact he was indeed robbing my home. Again, no luck. Now the reality of it has all sunk in, I put myself in damage control mode to understand what I needed to sort out first and top of that list would be my Passwords. Next stop would be the police station in Chiswick down the road.

Some policemen comes over in the half hour or so as I chew through my mixed vegetable dinner and ask me a couple of questions regarding the break in. Things like the content that was stolen and approximate price etcetra etcetra so they can file a police report that another team can take over. They were very profesional and spoke to me about how I can prevent the issue and interviewed the neighbours as well.

The next day, I get called by a DC regarding the break and he starts asking some question regarding the ipad and how it might be possible to check the location of the ipad by looking up my Apple login and password which he asks over the phone. Now my world view has been severely damaged by the break in so I assume everyone is out to get me, to which i tell him I can’t provide a password over the phone. What am I? a Chump? Anyway, I rush back home to the Hammersmith police station hoping to check the guy out, to which he calls and is apparently stood infront of my house. I make up my mind that if the person i see is plain clothes, there is a chance I migth be getting scammed so he’ll have to quote the crime reference number which only I and the police have at this point. Turns out the guy was legit. I still call 101 to find out if he was who he says he was.

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