The saddest day of my life

Crickey, i don’t think I’ve ever been hit this hard and this dissapointed as I have been today. Not even the time where I was ripped off by strippers, or the thought that I might be leaving the uk for good. My ps3 broke today :(.

Cardiff half – 2012

So I just ran my cardiff half again this year. Quite pleased I didn’t actually pussy out half way through like i did the GNR so I thought I’d head out into the town and celebrate a little. Get myself a large meal like I normally do.

Anyhoot, day after I read the race results and I’m totally pissed off. Being the excel ninja that I am, I pulled together my average standing and what I need to do to get up to AVERAGE Male pace.

To be an average male, I’d need :-10.93 KMH.
To be an average in my category(not old) :- 12.04 KMH
According to the race results I was doing : 8.8KMH

That’s just fuckin pathetic la! I couldn’t do a 12.04 5km race! What the fuck yo!

Crickey the mass effect ending

Dude, i just spent the better part of the last 2 weeks polishing off every facet of mass effect. And when you polish a knob, you get jizz in your face. I thought how bad could the ending be? It has to be seen to be believed and boy an I a believer. Hallelujah i am! The endings were so unsatisfactory it’s not a joke and I thought the extended cut DLC endings would be better. But it’s not. It’s not better, it’s just more.

So, mass effect ending, how do we define thee. Firstly , my big gripe has got to be how the extended cut ending has more content but very little in the way to show the repercussions of your actions. That every choice you made, doesn’t really matter. I was invested in the team, the cast of characters and the choices i’ve made affecting the world i live and fight in. How Aria t’loke got control of omega, how being a paragon made a difference or being a dick has repercussions, how the Krogan without the genophage prospered as a race, and finally and most importantly how the quarians and the geth live symbiotically. The last being the most important, because it answers the fuzzy star child’s concerns about Synthetics and Organics.

Another bit I’ve noticed is the ending cops out. If you choose to destroy synthetics, there is no mention of EDI’s demise or the end of the Geth. Just an omission.

Last bit, all ending options wasn’t something the story was leading up to. I mean an ending needs to be part of the storyline and there was just no foreshadowing that this would be coming. Everything about the game was about a war, a war that needed to be won with a super weapon. Not symbosis, not about the cycles, it just felt incongruous/wrong.

Zombie Apocalypse!

-1929: Mephedrone first synthesised by Saem de Burnaga Sanchez.

-2003: Mephedrone re-discovered by underground chemist on the Hive.
-2009-2010: Mephedrone gains popularity in the UK and becomes fourth most popular street drug.
-2012: Man under the influence of Mephedrone eats the face of his victim.

-2012-2013: Drug gains popularity due to incident and copy cat crimes emerge.

-2013: Mephedrone users now colloquially referred to as “Walkers” after TV show.
-2014: Mephedrone usage reaches near epidemic levels.
-2014: GlaxoSmithKline announces merger with Pfizer. Company is rebranded the Umbrella Corporation.
-2015: The Umbrella Corporation pledges funding into innovative gene
therapy research to treat Mephedrone addiction.
-2016: Sir Andrew Witty announces availability of vaccine for Mephedrone addiction via NHS. Vaccine is named T-Virus.

-2017: Initial roll-out of T-Virus to Kingston upon Hull notes 99.99% success rate.
-2018: Adverse reactions to T-Virus noted on patient Gerry Lane including reduced mobility, impaired cognitive reasoning and inflammation of the brain.
-2018: Patient Zero escapes Umbrella Corporation research facility in Stevenage, leaving 3 injured.

-2018: Reports of attacks escalate over 3 days. Armed forces and
Health Protection Agency brought in to investigate.

-2018: Global panic as infection spreads across England. The United Nations declares England a crisis zone. Strict border controls instituted across Europe to control infection.
-2019: The cruise ship Celebrity Galaxy shipwrecks on the coast of New Brunswick, Canada; depositing 1,445 infected passengers.

-2019: The city of Quebec overruns in 2 days.
-2019: Burlington becomes first American City to be infected.

-2019: Infection arrives in Chicago 2 months after first identified in North America. As an act of desperation, the USS Alaska, USS Maine and USS Kentucky launch its Trident II warheads, levelling much of the
American midwest.

-2019: Unaccounted for nuclear weapons silo in Kazakhstan triggers
Mutually Assured Destruction protocol, causing a chain reaction.
-2034: The last human being dies in a cave in Nepal.

That bike ride

So I went for the brighton bike ride even though I’ve not trained for it at all. And to motivate myself, or rather blackmail myself into doing it, i take a cab to the meeting point for the london bike ride. Which really is quite strange, as I’ll be cycling 90 fucking kilometers anyway, what’s a couple of kilometers between friends right?

Anyhoot, started at clapham common at about 12 and we start moving around 1? First 30 kilometers was great,I was keeping pace and almost a little competitive.Trying best the bicycle bessies. Didn’t have to spend too much time at the rest stop, I thought hey, i’m almost there, one third done, just one more of this and I’m sorted. Fucking hell, the next leg was LONG. Little back lanes , totally unlit except for the bike lamp. Had to stop once along this leg to take a break as my thighs cramped up.About 50 something kilometers in, I take a break slightly before the rest stop, and again at the rest stop. Yeah, this would be the last stop before the end I say to myself. Google maps on the other hand tells me it’s just barely half way and I had another 40km to go. It felt impossible, 200 meters down from the rest stop, my legs cramp up so bad I can’t stand/walk/move and I had to do another 40 kilometers I ask? Impossible. I was planning my escape route, bus or taxi to gatwick and from there a train straight into victoria.Home sweet home. Legs cramped, by backpack biting into my arm pits, my ass sore. Impossible I say but the idea of giving up pissed me off, so I kept on going. And going. And going.

Anything that even looked remotely like an incline I’d jump off the bike and push it. This would eventually get me to the last rest stop. It’s just stragglers now and the herd has thinned quite considerably. I attack the food station like I was the last zombie alive and bite into that apple like it was oxygen and I was a scuba diver. Took a short break and carried on. The last part was hilly and I was mostly pushing my bike a long. I thought I’d faint near the last hill.

Finally made it to brighton, got changed, ate a big breakfast and pushed my bike to the train station. Didn’t bother looking around as I just wanted to get home and go to sleep. A hard fucking earned sleep. So that medal will never mean the same to anyone as it did to me…



Years ago when I was still a university student, the world seemed gripped with Pottermania and I couldn’t turn on the TV without mention of the ubiquitous scarred sorcerer. Stubborn as I was(and still am) I was adamant I would never succumb to this fad and I would never read a Harry potter book. Unfortunately, I was at my aunt’s (she had no internet access) and the only thing I had to entertain myself was “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” , so I thought I’d give it a shot. To read it so I could properly stand up and tell everyone how I was right, they were wrong and Harry Potter was a rubish. I picked up the book and about 15 or so hours later I put it down. I now have a Harry potter sweatshirt and I’m in my thirties.

I really wanted twilight to be my new harry potter. That surprise that it was much better than I was expecting it to be , that diamond in the rough and to fall in love again. 50 pages in and I still think it’s horrible. It’s so bad, I’ve said if it continues to be this bad by page 120, I will tear out pages to eat it just so I could defaecate it like the piece of shit it is.

I’ve stopped reading for fear of cellulose poisoning.

Cardiff half #2


Right did the Cardiff half at about the 2:21. Previous attempt was 2:26

I’m sexy and I know it

Hole in my heart



Nothing compared to hole in ceiling

That neighbour didn’t respond after all that banging on his door wtf

Dude! I bet he knew wtf was going on and just ignored me


Twitter, facebook, whatsapp, google+, We’re connected all the time but why does everyone feel so distant..

Lost it

Just can’t seem to do anything right? Work was the one thing I was confident in was getting right. Want to hide under my covers